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Northsider's desperate search for her dad

Thursday, 31 July 2008

A NORTHSIDE woman who was put up for adoption as a baby is desperately searching for her birth father who is unaware she exists.
Speaking candidly to Northside People, Mulhuddart local Mairead O’Hare (33) described her life-long struggle to find her biological parents.
She explained how she has battled with anorexia and punished herself over feeling that she was an “unwanted child”.
“My foster parents have always been fantastic. They never hid anything from me so I always knew I was adopted and I was fine with it,” she said.
“But my life changed at the age of six when a boy on my street called me a ‘bastard child’.
“Then I started to ask more questions and unfortunately I’m still searching for answers. I’ve spent my life punishing myself.
“I’ve put a lot of thought and effort into finding my biological parents. It’s been a living hell, really. I couldn’t but imagine who they’d be and what they would look like.”
Despite the uphill battle she faced, Mairead managed to trace her birth mother, whom she met last year.
“She knew who I was the second she saw me; apparently I look the image of my father,” Mairead revealed.
“She was very reluctant to give me certain information and hasn’t been in touch with me since. She has her own family now.”
Mairead added: “I feel better since I’ve met her. I have closure. I know now that, if anything, she is the one who lost out.”
In the course of her work to trace her birth parents, Mairead realised that her mother had put another baby up for adoption before she was born.
Despite the odds, Mairead tracked down her half-brother who was living in Germany at the time.
“Our fathers were different but I learned that they had been friends,” Mairead explains.
“I now know my birth father’s name, that he is English and worked in a city centre bar for three years around 1974.
“That is all I know and I’ve tried my best to track him down but to no avail. I believe he has a right to know that he has a daughter.”
She added: “I know I could be setting myself up for more disappointment and hurt but I guess it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Mairead, who has two young children of her own, explained how her search for closure has come at a cost.
“My marriage broke down, I’ve been through a lot of counselling and I’ve battled with anorexia.
“Having closure on this would mean so much to me.”
Mairead is not alone in her search for her biological parents.
In 2004, the Adoption Authority of Ireland set up an Information & Tracing Unit to facilitate an increasing number of adopted people, natural parents and other relatives who were seeking to trace or to obtain medical or personal information from their files.
According to its most recent figures, the unit received 1,046 applications in 2006.
Of the applications processed, 750 applications were from adopted people and 296 applications from the relatives of adopted people.
A total of 140 matches between adopted people and their relatives were made on the register in the calendar year 2006.
This is a higher match rate than achieved in many other jurisdictions who operate similar adoption contact registers.
The Adoption Authority of Ireland can be contacted on 2309300.

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